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The pain of a parent's or a child's death can be overwhelming. When ' that happens, our family, friends and community allow us to grieve. Sim. ilarly when a family loses their farm, 1 their home and their lifestyle, they too should be allowed to grieve. Losing something that is important to you . can affect your entire life. Most people move through a series of overlapping stages when they are grieving. This is a natural and predict- able process that helps a person deal , with the past and move on to the . future at an individual rate. The first stage is shock and denial. ‘ This is an emotional inability to ac- cept reality. "It can't be happening to me" is a common reaction. These people need to be physically com- forted and to be listened to. As a person becomes aware of the loss, emotions will erupt. There is a . need to cry and to talk. When the loss of the farm really sinks in, the whole family may experience strong feelings of helplessness, hurt, frustration and . anger. Anger may be directed at bankers, government, advisers, neigh- bors, family and God. “How could they do this to us?" is a common feel» ting. Physical illness may result from being run down and emotionally stressed. Guilt is another stage. “If only I ‘had done this”, “if only I hadn’t Ibought that tractor”, "if I wasn’t around things would be better" seem Grieving is a natural process Lem Ryan to be a last chance to wipe out this problem. This is the time to watch for suicide attempts. Acceptance and lis- tening is needed rather than criticism and judgements. Feelings of isolation, self-pity and depression are part of the most diff ficult stage which is recognition. The task of getting one‘s life together again may seem overwhelming. Evenâ€" tually some feelings of hope and relief H & C July. August, September 1987' sneak li’IFtJIJt‘i‘I and lll'ilt air ilv _.. rung ni mum/er) Recovery may in; u [-4.4 lw . ccss. Support tram taunt 'r. .t; community and urn-ricitn'n: Int-m siunals is c'ncnliai. Qrtexmg Is not ca, ‘t it . lution to beecpllng u to . changes a person, hut allw. Hui. to reconstruct their iliL’ min: t.- - strengths. bera Ryan is family resource mane agemenl specialist with the Hunt Organizations and Senices Branch. [i